Beyond the Shame
by pepper-swords
Summary: SPOILER! What happens when Ed stops Envy committing suicide? Alternative ending to chapter 95 of the manga. T for language. Not sure about what genres to use.


**Story: Beyond the Shame**

**Author: Englicana**

**Source: Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Pairing: None. (But **_**maybe**_** some Envy x Ed later if I end up writing more)**

**Warning: SPOILERS (chapter 94-95 of the manga). Not beta'd because I didn't want to spoil any of my friends who haven't seen/read this far. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of the characters. **

**Reason for writing fic: Envy shouldn't have died! 3**

**Note: This chapter is heavily based on chapter 95 (Beyond the Flame) of the manga. The fic will be a kind of alternative ending for Envy. Probably will be a one-shot but if people want more then I will happily oblige =D **

"I'll only say it one more time. Hand him over, Fullmetal!"

"Forget it!"

_'Nngh... you..._ _I better take this chance, while the Fullmetal bean is distracted'_. Envy bit the fist holding him. _'If I could just take over him I could get out of here! The colonel wouldn't hurt the bean!'_ He continued to gnaw on the gloved hand, vaguely wondering what was taking so long. _'Ah, that's right, his right arm is automail... Shit! I can't posses him!'_

"He deserves a painful, humiliating death. Give him to me."_ 'Ouch. I don't like the sound of that! I need to get away!'_

"I said no." Envy started squirming in the blond's hand, desperate to make his escape.

"Give him to me, Fullmetal or I'll burn your arm off with him!" That struck a nerve with the blond alchemist.

"Bring it, Bitch!!! I'll take you on any day! Just take a good look at your face before you do anything! You think you can lead a country looking like that?! THAT is what your goal was supposed to be!"

"...or will you let your fury turn you into little more than an animal? That's your other option." '_What the hell? Now scar was joining in? The fool is supposed to be against alchemists! What the fuck is wrong with humans?!?! Why are they so emotional!'_

"It won't bother me if you sink to our level." Scar continued.

"Hey!!" Envy winced as his captor squeezed his fist in indignation.

"I have no right to stop anyone from taking revenge. However, I wonder how a world led by a beast in human skin would end up." Envy looked on in depressed amazement as the humans continued their strange... conversation. _'A world led by a beast in human skin? Is that not __**exactly**__ what is happening right now?! Helloooo, Bradley is a __**homonculus**__! They're all idiots!'_

"I can't let you kill Envy, Colonel." The blond lieutenant was talking again. _'Oh? That sounds good...'_

"But I don't intend to let him live either. I'll take care of him" _'...Or not!'_ The diminshed homonculus squirmed desperately in Ed's grasp. _'I don't want to die!'_

"It's taken so long! But I FINALLY have him!"

"I understand! But i'ts not to help the country or save a comrade! You only want to kill him to satisfy your own hatred!" _'Well duh. Congratulations on pointing out the obvious, military girl. Humans are pathetic. How the hell is that meant to stop him? Ah-!'_ Envy ceased his squirming as Fullmetal shook him slightly and tightened his grip. The homonculus looked up to see the blond boy shooting him a glare, which he returned.

"Please, colonel..." Envy looked back and had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. _'Come on! The man wants to kill me! Crying wont help!'_ "Don't go where I can't follow!"

"If you're going to shoot, shoot. What will you do after I'm dead?" _'Excellent point, dear flame. I swear he's the only one who makes any sense.'_

"I have no desire to live a happy, carefree life all alone. After this battle is over my body will leave this world together with the corpse of the Flame Alchemist." _'Tch. And she said they weren't together? Bullshi- WOAH!'_

Flames erupted from beside the Colonel. _'Um... Right. Flames. Death. I should __**definitely**__ be going now...'_

"Unacceptable. I wont lose you, too. What a messed up situation. Letting a child anger me, being lectured by my enemy and forcing you to act like you did. I'm such a fool." _'WHAAAAT?!?!'_

"Lower your gun Lieutenant. I'm sorry."

_'WHAT THE HELL!?! It can't just end like that! Humans are so infuriating! You don't just give up revenge like that! I KILLED your best friend, damnit! You can't be sorry!'_

"No you're not. What a load of crap! What is this, a radio drama? I feel like puking!" Fuck it, he couldn't contain it any longer. "Are you humans always this emotional? Listen to your instincts! Colonel Mustang! Scar tried to assinate you, didn't he? And you, short stuff! Scar killed your friend's parents, remember!?" He restrained a cringe as the bean squeezed him more. "And the east city girl who was turned into a chimera! He killed her too! And I, myself, pulled the trigger that started the Ishbal war!" The blonde girl bowed her head. "Hahahahha! You killed plenty of people during those years, lieutenant hawkeye! Scar! The man and woman responsbile for slaughtering countless members of your race are right in front of you! Take this chance!"

They all looked furious.

"Ooh, what angry faces, hahah! Keep it up! Hate, cry, kill and be be killed! Wade through the mire of war! Pathetic insects like you can't out aside your differences and work together! Right, shrimp?" He didn't understand. _'Why don't they all just hate and kill each other!?!_'

"Hawkeye! Mustang! Scar! ….why? WHY WHY WHY!? DAMN YOU ALL!!!"

"Envy... you..." The blond girl spoke softly. The homonculus was breaking down, he couldn't understand the complexity of humans. It should be so simple! Kill those who hurt you!

"You're envious of humans."

Envy stilled with shock.

The fullmetal bean softened his grip as he spoke.

"We're so much weaker than you Homonculi, but... battered, confused, even when we're beaten and about to collapse, even when we know it's pointless, we always stand back up. And if we can't, our friends will lift us."

He understood.

"You'll never have that... and it's made you jealous of us."

The homonculus-turned-shrimp couldn't stand it. He freaked out, squirming and screaming.

"Hey! Knock it off! Cut it out, dumbass or I'll -" The bean raised his other hand to Envy to try to stop him but he lunged out and snapped his teeth onto the blond's finger.

"Ow!" His grip loosened and Envy was finally released onto the floor. "How humiliating. Reduced to this pathetic form... with you humans... you pieces of shit mocking me. And worst of all, the lowest one of you..." He broke. Tears started falling. "That _fucking kid_, is the one who understands how I feel! It's the ultimate insult..."

The blond alchemists' face was filled with shock and horror.

Envy reached into himself and pulled out his stone. _'This will end it... I wont have to deal with humans ever again... I don't want to die but...I can't stand this!'_

"Haha. How much further will that simplistic outlook take you, huh bean? Good luck." He raised the stone ready to crush it.

"WAIT!" Fullmetal dived down and grabbed Envy, preventing him from destroying the stone.  
"Let go of me! You disgust me!"

The blond tightened his grip, securing the homonculus in a position where he was helpless. "No. I don't. You're jealous of me. I may be fucked up and part metal but... I'm still human. And you're jealous of that."  
"Shut up! Just kill me!"  
"I can't do that, Envy. I wouldn't kill a human so how could I kill someone so desperate to be one?" The blond was looking at him with that damned understanding in his eyes. It made Envy so mad.

"Don't pity me! I'm not human! I'm a created monster! I'd kill you if I had the chance!"

"But that wouldn't satisfy you!"

The others were watching in silence as Ed argued with Envy.

"Ed. Let him do it. He wont ever be human. He doesn't deserve to be."

The blond turned to Mustang, fury written on his face.

"Why not?! Because we wont accept him? If he wants to be human then who are we to stop him?!"

_'What!?! Why is he-?'_

"He killed Hughes! I can never accept him!"

"I..." The bean lowered his head, sadness filling his eyes. He looked to Envy. "Why did you do it?"

"What? What kind of question is that?!" Envy was baffled by the humans.

"It's simple. Just say why you did it."

"Because... he knew too much! It was a threat to the plan! It was an order!"

"An order?" The Colonel butted in. "From who?"

"From our Father, of course. Who else?" Envy didn't understand why that was so important.

"Envy." Ed was speaking to him again. "Would you have done it if it hadn't been ordered? If Hughes hadn't... found out too much?"  
"No. Why would I? As much as I like killing, there would be no point to that."

Ed kind of half smiled at the confused homonculus before looking to Mustang.

"In that case, colonel, is your fight not with their leader rather than with Envy?"

The colonel hesitated. He wanted to kill the man responsible and he thought that was Envy but... he nodded. "You're right."

Envy blinked in shock. Was he just... let off? What the hell? "Humans are strange..." He wobbled as Fullmetal lifted him to his face.  
"What are you going to do n-?" The blond's question was cut off as a hoarde of the immortal soldier's rounded the corner.  
"Shit!"

The colonel spun, snapping his fingers and incinerating the first row. Hawkeye shot those she could and scar prepared himself for when they reached him.

Envy yelped and Ed threw him in the air. "Hey! What are you-?"

There was a flash as Ed transmuted his automail to form a small compartment in it. He then held his arm out so Envy fell straight into the compartment and he sealed it up.

"Oi! Don't lock me up in here, bean! Let me at them! I can take them all out!" Envy protested. If he absorbed them all he would be back to normal.

"No way! You're staying in there until we're out!"

"Hey! I can get rid of them all far quicker than any of you can! They'll be gone in an instant! Hey! Shrimp? Are you listening?!"

"Stop calling me shrimp! If anyone here is a shrimp it's you!" Envy's real form did have a certain... shrimpyness about it.

"Fuck you! Let me out of here and I'll show you who's a shrimp!"

"Shut up! You're distracting me!"  
"LET ME OU-" Envy crashed into the side of his small compartment as Ed swung his arm, clearly fighting off the undead soldiers. Envy gritted his teeth in annoyance. "Let. ! I can take these guys out in a matter of SECONDS!"

"No way! You'll just heal yourself and try to kill us!"

True, that thought had crossed the homunculus' mind, but he had decided against it. "I wont!" Envy grimaced as he hit the walls of the compartment again. "You... have my word..." He didn't like promising the humans anything... but they had let him live. Strange things.

"What on earth makes you think I'll believe you, Envy?"

"It would be stupid to attack you now, while we're stuck underground. The result would be the same as before." He hated being honest. "It'd be suicide... and I've changed my mind about that." Envy rolled his eyes in frustration, why wouldn't the brat just let him take out the soldier's and do everyone a favour!?

Ed seemed to consider it for a moment, judging by the silence. Either that or one of the soliders had gotten him while Envy had been talking. The homunculus hoped it was the former, as he didn't like the idea of being trapped in a secret compartment of a metal arm attached to a dead guy. Suddenly, a flash of light appeared above Envy and the compartment opened. A hand reached in and grabbed the homunculus before holding him up in front of the owner's face.  
"Right. You can get rid of these things, but if you try to attack us again... I won't stop the colonel. Understand?" The boy looked stern.

Envy rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes. I get it. Now throw me at them!"  
Ed pulled a face before turning and chucking Envy at the oncoming soldiers.

Watching Envy absorb the creatures was, quite frankly, disgusting. Everyone watched in horror as Envy absorbed them all in a revolting mutated mass before reviving his true form.

Mustang and Hawkeye stood still in shock, staring at Envy's huge form.

The beast looked at them as he absorbed the last few soldiers.  
"Guh, don't look at me." Envy cringed before transforming back into his usual form, stretching with a grin on his face. "Whew, thanks for that kid, I appreciate it."

Mutang was still staring, while Hawkeye had her gun pointed at the homunculus.  
"You're..." the colonel began.  
"...much cute this way, don't you agree?" Envy smirked as he flicked his hair, walking past the colonel towards Ed.

Ed relaxed a little, he got the feeling that Envy would keep his word. For now.

"Fullmetal, what is the meaning of this? Why did you let him out?"

"He helped us. Let's discuss this once we're out of here. I don't want to stay down here any longer than necessary."  
Envy leant against the wall near Ed while Mustang tried to, unsuccessfully, stare down the blond alchemist.

The homunculus sighed. "Are you two done yet so we can go?"

Both turned to glare at him. "Whatever. I'm going."

Envy waved and started walking away. Naturally, the others followed, not wanting to end up lost down there.

**A/N: I'm happy to leave it like that but if people want more I'll consider it. Plot suggestions would be great though if you want more but I'm not sure how good a sequel would be. It was written just as an alternative "ending". **


End file.
